Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
And not afraid to admit when he's wrong.



One who thinks before he speaks,
And when he says he'll call, doesn't wait six weeks.
I pray that he's gainfully employed,
And won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.



One who pulls out my chair and opens the door,
And massages my shoulders and begs to do more.
Oh, send me a man who will make love to my mind,
And knows what to say when I ask, "How fat is my behind?"




One who'll make love till my body's a-twitchin'
And bring ME something too, when he goes to the kitchen!
A man who will love me for days without end,
And never compare me with his old girlfriend.



Thank you in advance, and now I'll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it's too late!

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Idiots in the Room

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
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