- The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

- Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

- What general direction cattywumpus is.

- That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

- When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

- The difference between Yankee's and damn Yankee's.

- How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

- Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

- Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!

- A good dog is worth its weight in gold.

- Real gravy don't come from the store.

- The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.

- When "by and by" is.

- How to handle their "pot likker".

- The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

- The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

- Never to go snipe hunting twice.

- At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

- Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

- You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

- You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

- A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.

- Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

- Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

Pass This Along To All Your Southern Friends!



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Idiots in the Room

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

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