The
dog catcher calls for backup when he visits your house.
You
think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food
groups.
You
have a house that has wheels and four cars that don't.
You
have a set of twelve matching salad bowls, and they all say
"Cool Whip" on the side.
Your
secret family recipe is illegal.
You
list your parole officer as a reference.
People
are always stopping at your house thinking you're having a
yard sale.
Your
four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
The
number of times you've seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds
your IQ.
You
see an ad that says "Just say no to crack" and it reminds
you to pull up your pants.
You
drive yourself to the sixth grade.
Your
wife used to be your mother-in-law.
Going
to the bathroom at night involves boots and a lantern.
Your
wife keeps a couple shotgun shells tucked in her bra for emergencies.
You
think the last four words of the National Anthem are "Gentlemen,
start your engines!"
